Showing posts with label articles. Show all posts

I have a dream.


I have a dream for this world. And for all of its inhabitants.

Simply put, that every living being and their only home is treated with respect and care.

For too long has mankind been abusing their only home. We keep polluting the soil that feeds us. We abuse and torture the animals that live among us. We hurt and even kill each other. Sometimes in the name of profits and at times for differing ideologies and beliefs.


This is killing us, our only home and our growth as a collective. Yet we turn a blind eye to the situation and say it's out of our control. We give our power away to those we call our "leaders". Surely they will know what to do for the betterment of mankind. Perhaps greed has taken the lead of their judgement.


I have a dream of a world with no hunger, poverty or war.
A world where we act as mankind and not as nations, ideologies nor beliefs.
A world where we act out of compassion, not fear. 

A world where we all share instead of hoard.


Through hate grows only more hate and bitterness from our fellow man. As some countries bomb others in the name of freedom, war on terrorism, revenge or however they may justify their cause. Would it not be wiser to teach one another. We are not all knowing and surely you and I can learn something from each other.


Genki Sudo


I invite you to live by a quote that I have taken as my life's motto. Question everything. 

I don't take anything I'm told at face value. Be it what you, the government, the media or anyone else thinks I should do, eat, think or believe. But neither do I throw these facts away, as they may hold some truth. I only take these claims into account when I form my own opinion around the matter at hand and try to find other counter arguments. For in the end as Socrates said: "I know one thing: that I know nothing." And that is ok.


Wouldn't it be beautiful to live in a world where every single being is able to strive for their dreams. No matter where in the world they are born or into which family. That humankind would strive for greatness together and explore inner and outer space in peace and love. Just thinking about traveling among the stars makes my heart rise from my chest. Why we constantly fight is something I just cannot grasp.

If only humans cared for each other and their planet as much as who they think created it. This is why out of all the hundreds of religions on earth I adjusted mine into a simple one. And thus far Marcus Aurelius has summed it up best:


"Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."


Who am I if not only one dreamer?
I cannot make this world into a dream for everyone alone. This is why I ask you to voice your own opinion, but also try to understand others and why they do the things they do. Have life changing conversations with your friends and loved ones. Show compassion to your fellow man no matter the circumstances. Try to understand others. And most important, be a good person.


However if some of these opinions differ with yours, don't get mad and rant, let us have a conversation. I am not a dictator that forces their own opinions on others. I only wish to share my view. I believe that everyone is free to live however they wish, doing to themselves whatever they wish, as long as no one is hurt. 


Be the change you wish to see in the world.



 To end this I will leave a short story that seems most fitting in this context.

"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world." - Unknown monk 1100 A.D
Thank you for your time.
- Jaan
Read More

Why I meditate and how I apply it in jiu-jitsu competitions

Lately it has been discussed a lot about in the media. Meditation and the benefits of it to the brain. I won't get into the details of it all as plenty of information can already be found on the internet.
Here is one nice article on the benefits.

So how do I define meditation? 
For me it's about emptying the mind. Quiet it down enough that you are just aware of your feelings, body and all sensations that arise. You can also call meditation some tasks that you do in what you call "flow state", that you are so immersed in your task that you forget about thinking.
These tasks can be gardening, washing dishes, walking, running, lifting weights, jiu-jitsu... Pretty much anything.


Simply put it. Just breathe.





How do I practice meditation?
I don't meditate every day. But I still get it's benefits, when I need them most. When I am really stressed, anxious or angry about certain things, it's at these moments when I gain the most from meditation.

I find a quiet and peaceful place where I can sit uninterrupted for X amount of time. I just sit there and breathe deeply and consciously. If a thought pops up, I observe it and let it go without judging it. Sometimes I get caught by my thoughts and find myself thinking some matters at hand. This is not a big deal, it can be useful to contemplate the thoughts that come by if it could help you solve some questions in your life. Then just let the thought go and move your focus back to your breathing. And that's it.
You can do this for 10-15 minutes. Sometimes when I am really stressed I go for 30-60 minutes.

Another way is doing tasks and focusing on them completely. While washing dishes, you can focus entirely on getting the dirt off and feeling the warm water on your hands. This same method can be applied to almost anything.

There are also times when I am just enjoying the present moment, I might be traveling somewhere or waiting for something. I take a deep breath and see what is going on around me, without labeling anything or thinking about anything. Just pure observation of my surroundings. This mostly brings me a sense of peace in the present.

How do I apply it to competition?
I still have not mastered this skill, but when I am able to apply it I perform better than I could have imagined. Now the application of how this might work for you is completely personal, as everyone is different. I am just sharing what I have found to work for me and hope that you find your way.

Usually during and after my warm up I take a moment to appreciate where I am. I sit around and see everyone doing their routine before fights, I see people fighting, cheering. Winning and losing. The vast range of emotions in a small arena. I breathe, sit, relax. Empty my mind. Just be.

I try to take this emptiness and relaxation with me into the mat. No fear, no expectation, just awareness.

The last time I was able to do this perfectly I outperformed my expectations. I did not have to think what to do. My body knew exactly what to do and reacted so fast to my opponents actions that I am  astounded even till this day.

What else have I gained through meditation?
The most considerable change in my life must be the release of stress and a sense of inner calmness. Before I might have gone bananas when something didn't go the way I planned. But these days I am able to stay calm through it and find a solution quickly. In a sense I always accept the situation I am in.

I also find myself being more happy more often for no particular reason. I'm just able to be grateful for the things that I have now and the situation I am in rather than being in that constant state of wanting something better.



Now I want to remind you that these are just my experiences. For you the meditation style and its benefits might be completely different. But with regular practice you will surely find your way and reap its benefits.

Happy mediations, and may your mind be clear.
Read More

My discovery of jiu-jitsu and the love for it.

I am ever grateful for finding the wonderful art of jiu-jitsu. It has in a sense saved my life. For this story I shall take you on a journey to my teens, many years to the past.

I am roughly 16 years old. Suffering from depression, low self-esteem and lack of activity. I have just made some new friends at a new school, one of them is actively involved in martial arts and shows some of his mad jumps and kicks. I suspected him of being a ninja. One day I tell him: "That's some cool-ass shit you're pulling off, I wish I could learn something like that.", he then proceeds to help me find a karate club near my home. Thank you friend, without your push I would not be this person today.

I have practiced karate for about a year, perhaps a little longer. Why this is not such a traditional club was the fact that we did a lot of jiujitsu alongside the traditional air waving and "KIAI!" shouting (Of course it held many other things also). Training enthusiastically and participating in nearly every guided training one of my first mentors sees my enthusiasm for fighting and guides me to the city near by to start MMA.

This is a rather small club, so first I had to go through BJJ basics and then I could venture on to MMA. I still remember traveling for the beginners class with my bicycle, it was totally dark outside... winter was coming. But I did not mind it, for I was pursuing happiness.
Jiu-jitsu was love at first sight... Touch. But back then I had no idea of the creativity involved in the art. I was just trying to get the hang of the basics and as a scrawny tall kid my main goal was to survive. Although my survival was laughable, I hung in there. Defeat after defeat I was going on again and again. That is the life of a white belt. I then complete beginners class and start MMA. I make it my primary focus. A year into it or less, don't remember exactly I receive my blue belt and I'm filled with thrill for this new achievement.



Few coaches then open a new club in my hometown, because they want to focus more and bigger on MMA and have great visions for the city which has an opening for this area of martial arts. I move with them, because I have a shorter distance to travel and I was focusing on MMA. Although our old and new club have close relationships, as fighters are visiting one and another every so often. I get some responsibilities in our new gym, I start assisting in beginners classes and clean the gym now and then. I still remember my 18th birthday very vividly:
  • 6 AM: Wake up, eat and go for my morning run.
  • 8 AM: Go to school.
  • 10 AM: Go to school lunch and then go to the gym to clean it up.
  • 11:30 AM: Back to school.
  • 3 PM: Go home and eat.
  • 5 PM: Go train.
  • 7 PM: Go home, eat and spend some quality time with mom.
  • 8 PM: Study.
  • 11 PM: Sleep, happy birthday.
This was my life now and till then I couldn't be happier with my life. I had a purpose, a goal. This cycle goes on for a while, a year or so. Then my training partner and best friend decides he has had enough with MMA and transitions to only do jiu-jitsu. I am saddened, but I understood his choice. I continue the path for some years feeling a little lonely, as there was no-one anymore to share my progress with and watch someone else grow by me. The feeling of pushing each other forward was something I always appreciated greatly.



In 2011 my life took an unexpected turn. It was in the MMA Finnish Championships in the semi-finals that I broke my arm in the 2nd rounds beginning most likely from blocking a kick with insufficient technique. Before the 3rd round I tell my coach: "My arm feels funny, I think something is wrong with it." His response was pure gold: "Don't show it to your opponent." I put on my game face and say ok. Although I kept going, I was in survival mode during the 3rd round. I kept taken to the ground for I couldn't use my arm in the clinch, I was trying to get underhooks, but for some unknown reason at the time I had no strength in my arm. I was confused.
The match is over, I lose by points. Although I was happy, I went through a war and survived. We are taking off my gloves and I notice that my arm is really starting to hurt.

I stumble all adrenaline pumped and overly joyous into the locker room. Sit down and breath, enjoy the moment. A doctor comes to check my arm and I can almost remember the conversation word by word. The doc squats in front of me and takes a look at my hand and asks: "Can you move your fingers? Ok, good. Does it hurt when you move them?" I respond: "Nope." He pokes my arm around and gives his opinion: "Well there is some swelling and some tenderness so it is most likely just some muscle damage. Do you guys live far?" my coach says that we live about an hours drive away. The doc then continues: "Okay, well go there and go to the hospital for an x-ray, the worst you can expect is a fracture and I don't think it will be that big." Alrighty, great news! I go take a shower and it is a hilarious task to do with one hand. While in the shower I look to the guy in the other corner of the showers as he is facing the same problem as I am. Showering with one arm. He broke his collar bone during his fight. He looks at me and we lock eyes. Two disabled guys trying to shower. We start laughing at the comical situation and someone shouts we should wash each others backs (We didn't. You filthy bastard.).

I arrive at the hospital and the nurses are so curious about how I hurt my arm. The first nurse who assesses the situation even shouted a second one: "Come check this arm! It broke during something called freestyle wrestling.". I just sit there giggling awkwardly and grind my teeth as yet another person says MMA wrong (They are both very similiar in finnish language - Vapaaottelu/Vapaapaini).

I get to the doctor, she forwards me to the x-ray. I walk around the hospital looking like I've been fighting at the local grill and gain some confused looks from people, but I have this wide ass smile on my face. I get called back in the doctors office. I step in and before I could shut the door my jaw drops to the floor and I'm frozen solid. I see my x-ray on the computer screen and it's broken in the middle, like a twig gone snap. The doc tells me to step inside and have a seat. She tells me how we proceed from here and schedules me for surgery in a week.
My friend picks me up from the hospital and I go straight to his place. We watch the hockey world championships live from TV. Finland wins gold and people everywhere go crazy for the last time we won was in 1995.








I wake up in the recovery room all pumped up with morphine. Watching the clouds through a small roof window, they go by what seems like amazing speed. But I'm just super high on morphine. Oh and there's a piece of titanium and 6 screws in my arm. I spend the night at the hospital and go home in the morning. This all cost me almost nothing thanks to awesome health care in Finland. Now I begin my road to recovery. Slowly, but surely. During my recovery I had a lot of time to wander through my feelings and thoughts about MMA, BJJ and my excitements.

During the time spent inside my head and recovering I came to the realisation that I was most happy when I was doing jiu-jitsu. I noticed that I liked MMA, but did not love it. I was always anxious of the fights. But every single time when I trained jiu-jitsu or submission wrestling, I was ecstatic. I yearned for the next training and just wanted roll as much as possible. Now I had to explain my situation and feelings to my coach, the man who had put so many hours training me and accompanying me in my fights. It was no easy task mentally, but once I came to it he was very understanding of how I felt and I thanked him for everything.

This is when I started my jiu-jitsu life.



Now why do I love jiu-jitsu so much? As I mentioned in beginning I had low self-esteem and some depression. MMA helped me cope with it, but it felt more like I was focusing on my goal so much that I just suppressed my feelings deep down with all this action. With jiu-jitsu I became more confident of myself and was able to rid some of that depression. Not all of it, but some. But that is another story for another time.
I have always been a creative person. In my teens I enjoyed photoshopping art pictures and all sorts. I practiced some drawing, but that never took into air so much. In jiu-jitsu it felt as if my body was the paint brush and the match was the canvas. The more I rolled the more I understood the concepts of it. It was when I was pushing myself to the limits in hard rolling that I accidentally discovered some of my own techniques that worked extremely well in passing the unpassable guard. I was back in my game, pushing myself and my friend forward to strive perfection. The countless taps I and him did made our friendship one of a kind.



The constant tapping out to my coach, training partner and maaaaaany others made me accept my own mortality and in a sense faded my ego to a less jerky asshole. Note: less. I still had my bad days.

The egoless jiu-jitsu practitioner is one reason why I love the art so much. I am inspired by every single black, brown and purple belt who takes the time for his fans, these complete strangers and seems always to be in such a good mood.

When I'm rolling I have to forget all the troubles of the world, all of my anxiety that I have accumulated from constant barraging of information about humans destroying themselves, each other and their home planet. I have to forget this all, for otherwise I'm going to tap a lot. It is my stress reliever.

I loved the feeling after a good sparring, it was something of weightlessness. Walking home after a practice was just pure bliss. At one point I started to teach some classes and to pass my own technique to someone else and seeing them execute it near perfectly just lifts my heart.

When you bump fists and begin rolling with someone, you place your trust upon that person. It is like saying "I trust you and that you won't hurt me". Even if you don't speak the same language, you can read the person and his intentions. And when you have a good roll, you both smile in the end.

In jiu-jitsu it does not matter if you have the strength hercules, for technique conquers all. I love to watch lightweight guys competing in the open weight. Their technique and gameplay is just beautiful.



Thank you coaches, training partners and everyone in jiu-jitsu.
Thank you dear reader for coming this far on my story.
Read More

Finnish championships 2013: a journey of twisted fingers and broken hopes (Part 3)

 A short story depicting the emotions before and after a competition.


I'm walking back to my teammates, I can't muster out any words. I fall into a corner and just stare into nothing. All these emotions running through me, it is just too much to handle. I just want to be alone, somewhere quiet.

Sitting for a while and shutting down everything outside of me seemed to help. I got a handle of my emotions and slowed them down. I get up and pack my stuff, time to move forward. On the way home I remember that I have work to do on the same evening. I start giggling hysterically as I imagine myself standing at a door of a pub with one working hand and the other one wrapped up.

I'm heading to work with a USB WiFi stick under my 2 fingers, with a lot of tape around them. I didn't have anything else at hand so had to improvise on my medical treatments. I get to work and think "Shit. This is gonna be a rough night". Luckily I see lots of familiar faces and friends, just the conversations and their presence cheers me up. I get home at 4 am. It's a restless night.

The next day I get to a hospital and find out that there's a bone chip loose inside the finger. So it's a 1-2 month recovery time...

The days go by... So slowly. About a month into my injury I start testing my boundaries and go rolling with a huge lump of tape on my hand. I was happy, but my finger was not. I guess it wasn't time yet, back to resting.


This was my story.
I hope you enjoyed at least some of it :)

Tomorrow I am moving to a new home. I will have a lot more space and time for my writings.
As this was my first "mini-saga" I hope you would have some spare time and give me some constructive feedback, anything is appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Read More

Finnish championships 2013: a journey of twisted fingers and broken hopes (part 2)


A short story depicting the emotions before and after a competition.


It's time, I get called behind the mat. The next match will be mine. I loosen up my body one last time and empty my mind.

Then it hits me. I'm alone behind the mat. Where is my opponent? The announcer walks over and asks who's missing. He then proceeded to announce my opponent by name a few times, but to no avail. He was nowhere to be seen.

That face you make when you realize somethings fishy.


































I walk back to the warm-up area, a little disappointed. Then I spot my next opponent, I fought against him about a year ago as a blue belt. Back then I won a very close match with only one advantage point. We talk a little and he tells me that his opponent didn't show up either.

So here we are in the finals, both winning the first match with a walkover...

It's time to prepare. Again... I warm-up, stretch and relax. Sitting in the warm-up area and listening to some calming music. I drift into a meditative state of mind. Watching other people roll and new champions being born, seeing the pure happiness in people is starting to make me restless. I want to roll.

























I see my name on the screen, it shows I'm fighting on mat 3. I walk behind the mat and know, I'm ready.

Walking onto the mat with an empty mind... Actually not empty, but a clear mind, focused on one thing. As a custom and sign of respect, I walk to the corner of the mat and shake hands with a judge who is going to be suggesting scoring on the match, then to the opposite corner to shake hands with the second judge. Lastly there is the mat judge, we shake hands and then I see my opponent. I was so focused that it seems like he appeared out of thin air.


We do the customary clap and bump and back off a little bit. The match starts by both staying standing and fighting for grips.

After about a minute of furious and speedy grip fighting, I catch my opponent a bit off balance; not much, but just enough. So I start ramming forward and go for a non-technical butt-ugly  force takedown.

The butt-ugly force takedown

I get the takedown and land in leg drag, "perfect" is the only thing running in my head. We land outside the match area so we are stopped and asked to move to the middle. My opponent rolls over... Then I see it, my middle finger is shaped like a "Z". In a rush of panic, worry and confusion I raise my hand to the judge to show the finger (giggle).

The realisation

He shows me to the corner of the arena and I let out a shout of rage. At the medical spot there's a few guys sitting around a first aid bag. The assistants faces first show amazement, then shock and afterwards sympathy. The on-call doctor rushes to me in his worn-out gray gi, that used to be black. He checks my finger and then looks at me. "I have to pull your finger back in place" he said calmly. My first reaction was to pull my hand a bit away from him and the look of pain overcame my face. Less than a second after that I realized that there isn't any other option.

"F*CK"

I give my hand out and look away. I feel a pull and almost no pain. "Oh, that's it." I say in surprise. At this point every single friend of mine is shouting "Tape it and continue!" while stomping the ground. First when I walked to the doctor, I was sure that I wasn't able to continue. These shouts however changed my mind. All the noise, commotion and stomping made me feel a rush of adrenaline. I tell the doctor "Tape it". Less than a minute forward I'm walking back to the mat. I stomp the ground a few times before stepping on the mat.


I get back to the center of the mat and the judge signals 2 points for my takedown. The match restarts from standing. We clap hands again. The beginning is a race for grips and I only reach out with my right hand as I'm afraid of using my hurt finger. Less than a minute passes and my opponent pulls guard. I immediately put my base down, get posture and start to work on my passing. Thinking I passed his guard he pulls my leg and catches me in his deep half guard. I start pushing my hips forward and get my leg free. Then turn around to face him in north-south position and start putting pressure on him, but I'm a second too late and he spins on his belly and escapes to turtle guard. In the moment I try to jump on his supportive arm for an armbar; almost catching it, but almost is not enough. Now I'm upside down on my neck, I spin around and recover him in my de la riva guard. In the heat of the moment I forget about my finger and pull on his gi. Only to feel pain, sadness and utter disappointment. I shake these feelings off and try to keep him behind my guard while attempting to pull my finger back in place. After a few failed attempts, my opponent has advanced into my half guard and I'm fighting with just one hand, then I come to the conclusion that I can't keep him in control. 
I tap...

The day after.

Story will be continued in part 3, stay tuned!
Read More

Finnish championships 2013: a journey of twisted fingers and broken hopes (part 1)

A short story depicting the emotions before and after a competition.


I took a sip from my morning coffee knowing this is the day. This is the day I show myself I haven't been training for nothing. My body was ready for the competitions, my mind... still racing around a thousand topics.

This year was different. The competitions start at 5 pm instead of 10 am, so I had some time to kill while trying to preserve my energy and mostly my sanity. I felt sorry for my friends who were on a strict diet and had to suffer through the whole day with almost nothing. Although not being on such a strict diet myself I could still feel the hunger creeping in my stomach, shouting: "FEED ME DUMMY!" and making some kind of whale mating sounds.

Fast forward a few hours of random internet browsing and checking my bag for the 76th time to make sure everything is along I throw my gear in the trunk and hop in my coaches car's backseat with Markus already comfortably in his seat and Mikael in the front seat peeking behind him constantly trying to hear what we're saying.  The trip is mostly silent, everyone is playing every outcome, every scenario, every emotion from world shattering pain to the happiest moment imaginable through in their head.

Markus  "Marque" Frigård
(blue gi)

We arrive at the sports arena, only to realize we're way ahead of schedule. We find a suitable spot for ourselves and stare at the mats being placed. A total of 4 yellow area mats with red borderlines are being set up. My first match being #162, I'm going to have to wait... and wait.... and wait.

While waiting for my matches I race around the arena greeting old friends and watching them fight. My teammate Markus did an amazing job. He won every match with precise and well executed techniques and secured himself the Finnish champion title in blue belts.

























The numbers are closing in. Soon it will be my turn. I start to gear up and go for a little jog around the block to get some fresh air and kick-start my engines. I do a few more fast sprints and head inside through glass doors. Walk up the first set of stairs, there's a big glass window right in front of me with some people staring at me and looking very confused on their exercise bikes. I walk up one more set of stairs and start to stretch and loosen up my body.

It's time. I walk to the warm-up area and go through gi-check and start to wait for the first match. Carefully eyeing everywhere, just in case I recognize my opponent.
Read More
Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)